niki

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Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:47:56 +1000

"I don’t have bedbugs, I went to Princeton."

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:49:49 +1000

“I don’t have bedbugs, I went to Princeton.”

- Jack Donaghy.

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Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:40:05 +1000

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Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:50:00 +1000

TIMES ARE A'CHANGIN'

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:30:17 +1000

Is Generation Y the first generation to have to lie on their resumes in order to make themselves look worse?

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:43:00 +1000

GPOYW.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:22:39 +1000

GPOYW.

Fierce.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:03:05 +1000

Fierce.

My favourite thing about Independence Day is that Vivica A. Fox hasn't aged in fifteen years.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:10:32 +1000

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:06:26 +1000

A year ago now I went for a job, just a whatever job for some...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:21:00 +1000

A year ago now I went for a job, just a whatever job for some cash, and despite excellent scores and a very strong recommendation by the recruitment agency, I was rejected at the final stage because of my complete lack of soul.

As a person who knows all too well the repetitive nature of history, the time has come where my insatiable, and apparently unreasonable, thirst for shelter and groceries has caused me to again seek mindless employment for cash.

2009 has been an interesting year for Mr Nikolaus, but I can say very honestly that I am far less empathetic towards the human condition now than I have ever been in the past. My cold heart and dead eyes seem only to sharpen with age. To secure such employment, I will need to learn to act. I don’t need to be that great; just good enough to know when to crease my brow and lower my voice at the right cues.

While I might express the stilted emotions of Tyra Banks, seen pictured above winning an Academy Award for her work in Catwoman, I should wind up coming home with a decent pay cheque for once.

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:05:26 +1000

I think it’s fair to say that until the Hale Street Link...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:49:03 +1000

I think it’s fair to say that until the Hale Street Link is completed at the end of February, the entire area shaded in blue does not exist. Do not attempt to invite me into this zone.

"Melbourne’s firefighters should be paid extra for turning up to work sober, according to a log..."

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:17:09 +1000

“Melbourne’s firefighters should be paid extra for turning up to work sober, according to a log of claims by their union.”

- I’m speechless.

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:09:24 +1000

Is this the best episode of Survivor ever?

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:11:48 +1000

Is this the best episode of Survivor ever?

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Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:54:56 +1000

SPY vs SPY

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:11:39 +1000

A televised speech by Sarah Palin last year really stuck in my mind as the single moment that made me realise that everybody is stupid. In this speech, she fleetingly commented about global warming being a probable result of the cyclical nature of the Earth’s weather systems. Let me explain:

Now—and I am deeply ashamed to admit this but please read this whole post before getting all up in arms—I, in fact, do believe that much of global warming is due to the cyclical nature of the Earth’s weather systems. What, you expected it to be 27.3°C on every August 1st for the rest of existence? Don’t we learn about gradual changes in temperature with regards to ice ages and whatnot? Yes, I believe humans have influenced it quite a fair bit, but any ecological changes, whether it’s humans pulling down a rainforest or the phytoplankton in the ocean overwhelming a large coral reef, will cause some degree of temperature change. It’s all a rich tapestry.

Sarah Palin believes that Jesus’ father, an invisible ghost in the sky, created the Earth back in 4184BC. Ice ages never happened. All species are fixed entities. The world is now as it always has been.

This makes me feel that Republican sentiment against the human causes of global warming are founded purely on spite for the Democrats’ policies. The Democrats are so steadfast that the change is purely the fault of human interference that Republicans are compelled to deny this stance even though it makes more sense for the majority of its constituents’ belief system.

With all species fixed, with only six thousand years of history, with Earth being now what it always has been, shouldn’t the Republicans be the ones decrying human interference with nature, claiming that global warming is purely our fault?

I can only come to the conclusion that the Democrats, too, are misguided. Democrats tend to understand the changing nature of the world and are much less religious, although their seemingly ignorant descent towards socialism is completely counterintuitive and insults everything that the United States as a whole has stood for over the twentieth century, but that’s another thing.

Democrats, my point being, tend to understand that the world is not stagnant. The term “God’s will” doesn’t appear in policy plans for the education system or international relations. The Earth was created billions of years ago, dinosaurs existed, all life evolved, and the planet’s history is smattered with ice ages and ecological flux.

Why, then, do the Democrats claim it is a calamity that temperature readings for each August 1st dare deviate from 27.3°C, even by only a fraction of a degree?

GPOYE. Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Employed.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:15:37 +1000

GPOYE. Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Employed.

"Michael Laws, a Kiwi politician, said governments should pay the “appalling underclass” not to breed..."

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:00:54 +1000

“Michael Laws, a Kiwi politician, said governments should pay the “appalling underclass” not to breed because there were people “within our society who give their children no hope nor opportunity from the moment that they are born”.”

- ♬ Let’s cross the Tasman Sea ♪