niki

SPY vs SPY

A televised speech by Sarah Palin last year really stuck in my mind as the single moment that made me realise that everybody is stupid. In this speech, she fleetingly commented about global warming being a probable result of the cyclical nature of the Earth’s weather systems. Let me explain:

Now—and I am deeply ashamed to admit this but please read this whole post before getting all up in arms—I, in fact, do believe that much of global warming is due to the cyclical nature of the Earth’s weather systems. What, you expected it to be 27.3°C on every August 1st for the rest of existence? Don’t we learn about gradual changes in temperature with regards to ice ages and whatnot? Yes, I believe humans have influenced it quite a fair bit, but any ecological changes, whether it’s humans pulling down a rainforest or the phytoplankton in the ocean overwhelming a large coral reef, will cause some degree of temperature change. It’s all a rich tapestry.

Sarah Palin believes that Jesus’ father, an invisible ghost in the sky, created the Earth back in 4184BC. Ice ages never happened. All species are fixed entities. The world is now as it always has been.

This makes me feel that Republican sentiment against the human causes of global warming are founded purely on spite for the Democrats’ policies. The Democrats are so steadfast that the change is purely the fault of human interference that Republicans are compelled to deny this stance even though it makes more sense for the majority of its constituents’ belief system.

With all species fixed, with only six thousand years of history, with Earth being now what it always has been, shouldn’t the Republicans be the ones decrying human interference with nature, claiming that global warming is purely our fault?

I can only come to the conclusion that the Democrats, too, are misguided. Democrats tend to understand the changing nature of the world and are much less religious, although their seemingly ignorant descent towards socialism is completely counterintuitive and insults everything that the United States as a whole has stood for over the twentieth century, but that’s another thing.

Democrats, my point being, tend to understand that the world is not stagnant. The term “God’s will” doesn’t appear in policy plans for the education system or international relations. The Earth was created billions of years ago, dinosaurs existed, all life evolved, and the planet’s history is smattered with ice ages and ecological flux.

Why, then, do the Democrats claim it is a calamity that temperature readings for each August 1st dare deviate from 27.3°C, even by only a fraction of a degree?

I can't understand how fake tanned and hairless is "beautiful". Pale and hairy! Pale and hairy!